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Note 9: Receiving positive feedback

Welcome to note 9 of 12. In the last note we looked at Being Present and the different ways you can reveal your preferences, opinions, ideas and attitudes to others. In this note we will look at how feedback can help you grow as a person.

Imagine a world without feedback from others. No one helps you learn anything. No one tells you that you’re doing well. No one offers to report on your performance. What a nightmare, right? We need feedback from others!

But many people find it hard to accept compliments, especially those who are not very assertive. Compliments are often not accepted in any of the following ways:

Ignoring

  • Compliment: “Hey, nice hat”
  • Response: “Hell of a weather today”

Denial

  • Compliment: “You look great”
  • Response: “No I don’t, I look awful”

Joking

  • Compliment: “I really appreciated the help you gave me when my mother was sick”
  • Response: “Oh, like I had anything better to do”

Boomerang

  • Compliment: “You were very funny today”
  • Response: “You, on the other hand, are hilarious everyday!”

It is not arrogant to accept a compliment. Let it in, you are seen and you are heard because you matter. Instead of using the tactics mentioned above a simple thank you will do. Try and use some of these phrases next time you receive a compliment:

  • Thank you
  • Thanks, I worked hard on it
  • I am glad you liked it
  • Thanks, I appreciate that you noticed it

Remember: Accepting compliments is a sign of assertiveness and you can do this by simply saying Thank you when you are given one!

Action: Accept any compliment you get today and everyday from now on!

In the next note we’ll look at the assertive “no”

And don’t forget: You are valuable. You are powerful. You can do this!

Your friends at Soul Medicine

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